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I'm Sorry

I’ve thought long and hard about writing this post and my mind has gone in all sorts of topsy turvy ways. Wanting to remain upbeat and positive which I believe is essential in times like this but also feeling the weight and burden of the reality that is currently our world.

That is when the initial question hit me. I have said and heard people say ‘In times like this’ but the reality is most of us have never experienced what we are in right now.

I think back to a few weeks ago when our world was ‘normal’, we didn’t think twice about where we went, the people we saw, we didn’t need to question whether that hug we gave our loved one’s might be the last or whether the plans we had made were going to go ahead or not.

I would be lying if I said that when I heard on the news what was happening around the world that I ever thought it would affect us in the way it has. But it has. There are reminders of it everywhere, of how much life has changed.

There are several things I have learnt during this time and it has taught me more about the people around me then I could ever imagine.

There are some incredibly greedy people in this world, who act in selfish ways with little to no consideration to those around them BUT what I have noticed, that is even bigger than that, is the kindness, gratitude, love and essence of hope from all of us.

With the toughest of times, come some of the biggest lessons.

I wanted to share with you all the things I have learnt from all of this so far and I am sure there are more lessons to come too. But before any of that. I want to say the words I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for all the times I’ve taken people in my life for granted, I never believed that was who I was or could be but this has taught me that I never gave a second thought to the fact I was so incredibly lucky to have the time I do with the 3 most important littlest people in my life. Darcy I’m sorry for the times I could have played with you but chose to complete that ‘urgent’ email that could have waited, Florence I’m sorry for not taking every opportunity I could to see your cheeky smile and hear you call me ‘Didi’ over and over and Baby Zara the littlest of them all. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to see you start all those amazing new firsts as you begin your wonderful life in this world.

I’m sorry to my family for all those times I said I would make the time to come and spend time together and let other things take over. I’ve spent a huge amount of time reflecting on my choices and the impact it’s had and each time it’s always been about people and what they mean to me because ultimately none of the material ‘stuff’ matters.

So, what have I learnt?

  1. People are at the essence of all the things I love and miss the most. Having dinner over Facetime/WhatsApp video calls are brilliant.

  2. I will never take a hug, face to face contact and being around the ones I love for granted.

  3. In times of need focus on those who show kindness, stand up for what’s important and don’t allow selfish people’s behaviour to take away from your head space for what really matters.

  4. We are so incredibly lucky to have the NHS, all the emergency services who work tirelessly to keep us all safe and well.

  5. Those who are still going out each day to work to ensure we have all we need to help us to still love comfortably and happily. Thank you for all you are doing for us all.

There are lots of people out there, who like me, are struggling through the challenges we are facing. But we can and will make it through this.

A huge thank you to all my clients who have continued to support me in whatever way they can to ensure I can keep afloat. To all the businesses who have training and speaking events booked in with me who haven’t just sent me an email to say ‘Cancelled’ without any thought to the impact that will have on me. They’ve picked up the phone and above anything else have first asked me the question ‘Are you well and safe?’

So today, if you are with those you love, hug them that little bit tighter, don’t let that text you keep saying you will reply to be missed and never ever go to bed on an argument. Ask yourself is it really worth it…?

Until next time…




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